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License to Sit
It's funny.  Laugh. Posted by michael on Tuesday February 13, @02:06PM
from the laugh-while-you-can dept.
Xunker writes "It's the Next Big Thing(TM) in sitting. Okay, so it's a bit of satire from our own Prof. Steve Mann (of Wearable Computer fame). It's basically a time lock chair -- you must buy a 'seating lisence' to use the chair, and if your lisence expires while you're sitting, spikes pop up to remind you you are no longer allowed to sit there. Oh, yeah, dig the terms and conditions, too."

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  • 'License to Sit' | Login/Create an Account | 183 comments | Search Discussion
    Threshold:
    The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. Slashdot is not responsible for what they say.
    1 (Slashdot Overload: CommentLimit 50)
    More proof (Score:5, Funny)
    by Ronin X on Tuesday February 13, @02:09PM EST (#4)
    (User #121414 Info)
    More proof that shrinkwrap licenses are a pain in the ass....
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    • 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
    Check the EULA on Microsoft Products! (Score:3, Funny)
    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 13, @02:09PM EST (#5)
    ...if you fail to abide by this agreement, we the underwritten can and will remove one (1) testicle of our choice from your body...

    Well ladies, it looks like you can pirate all you want!
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Man oh Man (Score:1, Offtopic)
    by n3rd on Tuesday February 13, @02:11PM EST (#6)
    (User #111397 Info)
    This makes me laugh about as much as I do when I see a picture of RMS.
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Remembering is Copying... (Score:2)
    by alexhmit01 (alex@feratech.com) on Tuesday February 13, @02:11PM EST (#7)
    (User #104757 Info) http://www.feratech.com
    Kinda clever, however, isn't there case law that indicates that "copying to memory" is fair use? I believe software companies tried to use the copying to memory to get copyright law to cover the use of the software and the courts told them to blow off.

    I also think that "copying to hard drive" falls under fair use, but less relevant to the satire.

    I do think that the cracks about the Government ID card are extremely funny and amusing. This is overall a good satire, thanks /.

    Application development and deployment on Open Source Technologies, Feratech.

    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Is this patentable??? (Score:1, Funny)
    by Dancin_Santa on Tuesday February 13, @02:12PM EST (#8)
    (User #265275 Info)
    Holy cow! Is this for real?

    What do I do with all the chairs I currently have at my house? I don't use them all to surf the web. Should I send in my current computer chair to these good folks? I don't want to break the law!

    Dancin Santa
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Chairs and MS Products have something in common. (Score:5, Funny)
    by SpanishInquisition (sikdude at yooho.cam) on Tuesday February 13, @02:14PM EST (#11)
    (User #127269 Info) http://www.mp3.com/Crastillon/
    They are both designed to be confortable for the majority of ASSES out there.


    *NOBODY* expects the Spanish Inquisition.
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    A great idea for classes... (Score:3, Funny)
    by rhenderson on Tuesday February 13, @02:15PM EST (#12)
    (User #306990 Info)
    Now if only Universities could buy these things to wake me up during those long boring lectures... I'd buy a blanket license, then!

    "If I wanted your lip, I'd rattle my zipper..."


    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Art? (Score:2, Interesting)
    by AMuse (amuse@moocow.midian.org) on Tuesday February 13, @02:16PM EST (#13)
    (User #121806 Info)
    Bloody wonderful satire.

    Not that it's far from the truth -- If chairs weren't in the public domain (Older than 1910), I have no doubt that the companies of today would try to license you to use their product for monthly or (slightly cheaper) yearly licenses.

    I have to ask myself --- is this an example of how art imitates life?
    Remove all references to cattle to email me.
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Mirror? (Score:1)
    by sulli (slashdot_comments at sulli dot org) on Tuesday February 13, @02:17PM EST (#15)
    (User #195030 Info) http://www.sulli.org
    of course it's /.ed...

    sulli
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    • Re:Mirror? by Tairan (Score:2) Tuesday February 13, @02:43PM EST
    Soon to be sued... (Score:5, Funny)
    by WombatControl on Tuesday February 13, @02:18PM EST (#16)
    (User #74685 Info) http://www.flarn.com/wombatcontrol/
    Already RAMBUS is claiming that they have a patent on this technology and have planned a lawsuit against the creators of the chair. Likewise Microsoft has also sued stating that they've pioneered giving customers the shaft and any technology that does the same is their intellectual property. :)
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    • 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
    Doesn't look that cofortable (Score:1)
    by Darkstorm on Tuesday February 13, @02:19PM EST (#19)
    (User #6880 Info)
    You would think if you were going to license sitting you would at least provide a cofortable seat...
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Two questions (Score:5, Funny)
    by Stephen Samuel (samuel att bcgreen.com) on Tuesday February 13, @02:20PM EST (#24)
    (User #106962 Info) http://www.bcgreen.com/~samuel
    1. Are they going to integrate it into microsoft's .net suite, or are they going to insist on their own protocol?
    2. Are the spikes going to result in a new Open Sores movement?

    --
      If you're not on somebody's shit list, you're not doing anything worthwhile.
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Not too far off. (Score:2)
    by pb (pdbaylie@eos.ncsu.edu) on Tuesday February 13, @02:20PM EST (#25)
    (User #1020 Info) http://www4.ncsu.edu/~pdbaylie
    Remember, you can always take an existing patent, and patent all obvious variants, and probably cover a few pre-existing ones.

    Although I doubt it'd be enforceable, I'm sure a company could come along, extend the existing chair patents, slap some businesses with lawsuits, and make some money.

    Like it or not, with the patent office in the sorry state that it's in, and the DMCA becoming the law of the land, this sort of ridiculous tripe is becoming a viable business model.

    I hope we can still laugh about this sort of thing in a few years, instead of having to buy 20-seat licenses for our chairs...
    ---
    pb     Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate.
    1020 Signal is better than noise.
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    The product resembles the website: (Score:1)
    by drinkypoo on Tuesday February 13, @02:21PM EST (#26)
    (User #153816 Info)

    Apparently, it only takes one or two users to slashdot it. How many people can sit in (on) the chair at once?


    You are what you do when it counts --Steakley
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    are the links on the page... (Score:1)
    by aarcher (foop@(the Tick's battle cry).cx) on Tuesday February 13, @02:21PM EST (#28)
    (User #158312 Info) http://foop.spoon.cx
    broken or just /. ed? maybe i should just go back and hide in the corner.
    "Suicide is painless, it brings on many changes, and you can take or leave it if you please."
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Mmmm, mmmm, baby (Score:2)
    by OlympicSponsor on Tuesday February 13, @02:22PM EST (#29)
    (User #236309 Info)
    I'd definitely pay for an extra license to sit in this chair with YOU.
    --
    MailOne
    IMAP coming soon!
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    The natural evolution of this... (Score:3, Funny)
    by Seinfeld on Tuesday February 13, @02:22PM EST (#30)
    (User #243496 Info)
    ...is the coming generation of pay toilets - OUCH!
    -----------
    If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget 'em, because man, they're gone. -- Jack
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Today's satire, tomorrow's IPO (Score:1)
    by gunner800 (gunner800@yahoo.spamisbad.com) on Tuesday February 13, @02:24PM EST (#35)
    (User #142959 Info) http://www.asomethingiknownotwhat.com
    The sad thing is, if someone actually built this thing it would be just as legal as software EULAs.


    My mom is not a Karma whore!
    Bored? Low standards? Go here
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    • 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
    Obviously a product of Redmond origin (Score:1)
    by r_j_prahad on Tuesday February 13, @02:27PM EST (#40)
    (User #309298 Info)
    I am wondering if it is being written using the new "C-*Sharp*" language then? Ouch!
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    • 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
    Mirror located at (Score:3, Informative)
    by Tairan (john@johncglass.com) on Tuesday February 13, @02:27PM EST (#41)
    (User #167707 Info) http://www.johncglass.com
    my site, as usual. head on over, to check it out. Give it a whirl, and it'll eventually get finished. The terms and conditions are also there.
    John Glass /. is a commercial entity. goto slashdot.com
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    • 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
    A Good Sign? (Score:2)
    by Bluesee on Tuesday February 13, @02:27PM EST (#42)
    (User #173416 Info)
    It's good to see that the concept of what is happening to our once-inalienable rights is becoming publicly, um, if not understood, at least promulgated. Artists can merge emotion and understanding and use their creativity to get a point across. I wonder how many people will actually 'get' the point? In San Francisco, maybe a majority, but how will (would) this play in Peoria?

    Oh, in his list of people who participated in this performance piece, there was this entry:

    B BLOCKBUSTER VIACOM

    (had to pull out the -'s for the junk filter)

    Can you put just any card through the reader, I wonder? I don't know card readers, but it looks like someone used his video rental card...


    It's Official: MTV has finally become the Shiny Objects Network.
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    I smell a lawsuit against a segment of people (Score:1)
    by Shriek on Tuesday February 13, @02:30PM EST (#45)
    (User #261178 Info)
    The creators of pay-to-sit will file an injunction against people who can lay on a bed of nails since they don't need to pay in order to sit in the chairs. They will even go so far as to impose a entertainment fee on such people since they must enjoy it if they're crazy enough to do it!
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Las Vegas (Score:1)
    by AlgUSF (AlgUSF@what.the.f.com) on Tuesday February 13, @02:35PM EST (#48)
    (User #238240 Info)
    I would have given my right arm to find a place to sit that didn't have a gaming machine in front of it in Vegas. My feet hurt so bad. This idea would be alright if the chair was a little more comfortable, and it was somewhere nice... Say inside the Luxor... :-)


    Welcome to Microsoft Cafe our specials today are vaporware, broken promises, and sorry we don't have Java.
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    capital punishment possibility (Score:1)
    by woody_jay on Tuesday February 13, @02:38PM EST (#52)
    (User #149371 Info)
    So, with longer spikes, could something similar to this be used for capital punishment?
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    but mom!!! (Score:3, Funny)
    by kirby697 (ktriebe@hotmail.ilovespam.com) on Tuesday February 13, @02:45PM EST (#59)
    (User #109327 Info) http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/Center/7623/kirby.htm
    No mom, I can't get off my ass and do something, I'm paying to sit here!

    What a perfect idea!
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    oh the humor (Score:1)
    by campbell on Tuesday February 13, @02:57PM EST (#70)
    (User #229598 Info)
    this gives a whole new meaning to "Per Seat" licensing! its like i've been brained by "teh funney"
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    I've made the crack for it. (Score:1)
    by aileon (www.aileo.com/STFU/) on Tuesday February 13, @02:58PM EST (#74)
    (User #311642 Info) http://www.aileo.com/
    Upon the release of the new seat, I headed out to my garage to do some 1337 h4x0r stuff. I took a board (open source of course, cause all else sux). and used my 5yb3r 5@w to hone it into an evil chair license violating mechanism...

    I'd make it available for download to you, but the company is suing me, so make sure you give them a big ole DOS slap my h4x0r friends.

    You can go buy the parts at home depot, secretly labeled "plywood" and "saw"
    but don't tell anyone I told you that, I might get arrested.

    Hackers Untie!
    -- I find myself irrelevent sometimes.
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Hmmm.. (Score:4, Funny)
    by ivan256 (jbaboval_at_missioncriticallinux.com) on Tuesday February 13, @03:01PM EST (#76)
    (User #17499 Info) http://www.acm.wpi.edu/~jbaboval/index.html
    Would this make ass shaped pieces of metal shielding illegal under UCITA?
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    • Re:Hmmm.. by Anonymous Cow (Score:1) Tuesday February 13, @05:41PM EST
    • Re:Hmmm.. by Xuther (Score:1) Tuesday February 13, @06:27PM EST
    More proof II (Score:1)
    by whovian on Tuesday February 13, @03:16PM EST (#91)
    (User #107062 Info)
    What!? You think my ass is made of money?
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    License to breath (Score:3, Funny)
    by Ektanoor on Tuesday February 13, @03:18PM EST (#93)
    (User #9949 Info)
    ...
    Terms of Cease
    You will know that your license is about to be terminated from the moment you will fell a critical need to breath while you start heavily sweeting, your sightseeing turns blurry and dark and you hear a slight whispering. If can't manage to renew your license in less than 10 minutes maximum, then you may consider your license terminated, however such termination will be of less concern for you.
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Sue the Beastie Boys! (Score:1)
    by lunenburg on Tuesday February 13, @03:24PM EST (#98)
    (User #37393 Info) http://www.lunenburg.org/
    They were the first to start this madness, charging people for a "License to Ill".
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    • 1 reply beneath your current threshold.
    Last time I met Steve Mann.. (Score:2)
    by Apuleius (ocschwar@nospam.mit.edu) on Tuesday February 13, @03:26PM EST (#99)
    (User #6901 Info) http://www.mit.edu/~ocschwar
    I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
    The man can so easily talk your ears off,
    that it's easy to be intimidated by him
    and walk off, which I did. Later I learned
    who he was, and soon he was en route to
    Toronto. Pity. It's well worth it to have
    your ears talked off by him. Glad to
    see he hasn't changed a bit.
    Tune out. Turn off. Log in.
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Pay Per Sit (Score:2)
    by Royster (murphy(at)panix(dot)com) on Tuesday February 13, @03:26PM EST (#100)
    (User #16042 Info)
    It's people who pay for a chair once who are abusing the intellectual property rights of seat designers.

    No longer will you buy a chair, you will lease it.

    And get your feet off of there, young man.


    "There go the heebies, but I've still got the jeebies"
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Stupid. (Score:1)
    by UnkyHerb on Tuesday February 13, @03:37PM EST (#105)
    (User #12862 Info)
    Steve Mann, Felix Tang , Steve Dietz, PM Eller, Scott Draves, etc, you are all dumbasses.


    - Yo momma's so big, she makes emacs look like pico!

    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Found a crack... (Score:1)
    by Bug2000 on Tuesday February 13, @03:38PM EST (#106)
    (User #235500 Info)
    ... on www.pillow.ru.
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    related pollitical performance art (long post) (Score:2, Insightful)
    by m620589745848 on Tuesday February 13, @03:42PM EST (#107)
    (User #315841 Info)
    I had this thought last night involving the travails of bonsaikitten.com should they continue to have problems. Aassemle one of those goldfish-in-a-blender fish tanks so popular on greeting cards and suchlike. underneath it but not touching it in any way would be a touch sensitive monitor displaying a depiction of the blender control panel. This assembely should be placed in a public space, idealy a courthouse or an FBI recruitment waiting room. If anyone touches the screen a webcam would photograph them and email it to PETA for litigation and procecution. the subject should then be informed that as a producer of a depiction of animal cruelty (after all we didn't press the button) he is guilty of an offence precluding him from certain employment such as that of a judge or in the FBI.
    -mattm (the REAL mattm all the other mattms are just immitating)
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Not bad, but... (Score:3, Funny)
    by Scytle on Tuesday February 13, @03:45PM EST (#113)
    (User #177442 Info)

    ...a few minor tweaks could make this design perfect. The current setup makes it too easy for "Seating Pirates", via the use a tough plastic cushion or piece of plywood, to steal unlimited usage of the Seat. By extending the spike length and having them extrude from the back of the seat pirates could be deterred. Still retribution by lawsuit against the offender would of course be more palatable than this minor design change, so never mind.


    Scytle

    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    The 'Free' version of the chair. (Score:1)
    by Schnedt McWhatever on Tuesday February 13, @03:49PM EST (#116)
    (User #313008 Info)
    I can't wait for the 'free' version of this chair to be developed by hackers.

    I can use the plans to build one of my own. However, once it's set up in my living room, any random homeless person who wanders by is entitled to sit in it. It has bolts and can be permanently installed out on my deck (so it won't blow around in the wind). However, once I do that, I've 'linked' it to my deck and any homeless hippy who wanders by is entitled to sit on it as long as he likes. If I make any changes to the chair, i.e. I install a home-brew MP3 player on the side so I can select and listen to music, my design for the MP3 player becomes community property.

    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Extra revenue (or, Insult To Injury) (Score:1)
    by still cynical on Tuesday February 13, @03:52PM EST (#117)
    (User #17020 Info)
    The instructions are clear. A user does not get up quickly enough, and Bam! Fees assessed for the cost of cleaning up!

    --- Ignorance is the root of all evil.
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    While it's an interesting joke (Score:2)
    by swerdloff on Tuesday February 13, @04:08PM EST (#121)
    (User #16397 Info) http://www.swerdloff.com/
    government groups angered at homeless squatters may want to use the technology, or something akin to it. If something stands still in a certain place for too long, and it's scanned as human, a little jolt and up it moves?

    Man, sometimes I even make myself sick.
    -Swerdloff (dot com)
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Where in SF? (Score:2)
    by sulli (slashdot_comments at sulli dot org) on Tuesday February 13, @04:15PM EST (#124)
    (User #195030 Info) http://www.sulli.org
    I looked at the main site and the utterly appalling companion site but couldn't find out where this installation is. I live in SF and would like to see this. Does anyone have a street address??

    sulli
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Seriously they should patent this. (Score:1)
    by intuition (jason@4u.net.invalid) on Tuesday February 13, @04:34PM EST (#128)
    (User #74209 Info)

    The inventor of this chair should seriously apply for a patent on this...

    if only to show how screwed up the USPTO is.

    Then they can expand their Terms and Conditions to notify user of patent-pending proprietary technology, etc.
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Need to Network all the Chairs (Score:1)
    by jazman_777 on Tuesday February 13, @05:14PM EST (#139)
    (User #44742 Info)
    This is inspired by the fun we have popping up and quickly killing xclock (and other mischief) on our neighbors' X windows sessions; we're using exceed, and the default is xhost+ .

    Can the device be hacked to make the spikes deploy and retract on demand?

    Can we have a variant of xkill or kill?
    (kill -9 deploys a 9-inch nail)

    Is there a Wake-On-Lan feature to wake up dozing neighbors?


    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    LTS Soon To Be Obsolete! (Score:1)
    by Sialagogue on Tuesday February 13, @05:14PM EST (#140)
    (User #246874 Info)
    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
    Slurry-on-Waffles, UK

    A team of British scientists has announced that through a series of soon-to-be-patented technologies, the entire concept of sitting, licenses, sitting licenses, patenting, and British Scientists will soon be obsolete.

    There are three key technologies that comprise the system:

    1. Through a proprietary compression technology, everyday consumers will be able to shorten the phrase "Software As A Service" to simply "RIPOFF"

    2. 10^18 British scientists will soon be able to fit on a chair, provided the chair has no conventional moving parts, and the scientists are the size of credit cards.

    3. Although, regretably, they have yet to compress the chair down to the size of a credit card, they have been successful in making it taste like chicken, bringing "an incredibly powerful new metaphor to the computer software industry."

    I'm fine, why do you ask?

    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Oh, THAT kind of time lock... (Score:1)
    by geekplus on Tuesday February 13, @05:30PM EST (#153)
    (User #248023 Info)
    I had visions of straps from the chair locking you in until authorities arrive if you accidentally remain in the chair after the license expires.
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Embrace and Extend (Score:1)
    by kawlyn (kawlyn@notmail.com) on Tuesday February 13, @05:48PM EST (#158)
    (User #154590 Info)
    Wait M$ will license the technology and introduce new Couch licensing.

    The couch components (CCOM) will unfortunately only interface with other M$ CCOM objects, like lamps, end table and ottomans.

    Developers will be allow to buy developer kits, M$ Furniture WorkShop 3.0 that will allow you to build middleware ( re-upholster) that will allow you to upgrade your old furniture.

    Additionally the MPAA has announced support for CCOM and will be building CCOM interfaces into new DVDs, this allows the use of couch license enforcement to protect Copywrited material.

    You are not a beatiful and unique snowflake Tyler Durden

    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Yawn... (Score:3, Informative)
    by Pig Hogger (lugalle@-DOPESPAM-yahoo.com) on Tuesday February 13, @06:37PM EST (#166)
    (User #10379 Info)

    Still nothing new, there.

    For generations, parisian parkgoers were greeted by (litterally!) charwomen ("chaisières") that collected from them a pittance whenever they set their butts down on one of the many loose chairs that were provided for the visitors' convenience...

    --
    So long, Bill (Hewlett), and thanks for the all [ENTER] keys...

    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    Graphical Representation (Score:3, Informative)
    by underwhelm (moseng@mninter_net) on Tuesday February 13, @06:56PM EST (#171)
    (User #53409 Info)
    Here is the same point made in comic form, less the spiky chair.

    I don't need large brains to have a good time.

    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    It would be interesting... (Score:1)
    by gauron23 (gauron23@yahoo.IDONTLIKESPAM.com) on Tuesday February 13, @06:57PM EST (#172)
    (User #155340 Info)
    if somebody could sell one of these chairs to Hillary Rosen (RIAA) or Jack Valenti (MPAA).
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
    This would be much funnier... (Score:1)
    by lythander on Wednesday February 14, @06:53AM EST (#179)
    (User #21981 Info)
    if the NFL hadn't already thought of it. Minus the spikes, of course. Personal seat licence. To get season tickets at, say, PSINet stadium in Baltimore, you had to buy a PSL (something on the order of $1000) before you could spend the money on the tickets themselves. And of course you could only buy two at a time.
    [ Reply to This | Parent ]
  • 20 replies beneath your current threshold.
  • 1 (Slashdot Overload: CommentLimit 50)
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